Monday, April 25, 2011

Life Was Wonderful. And Then The Morphine Wore Off!

Actually the morphine wore off about seven weeks ago.  Darn it.

Week eight after my surgery.  Time for an osteochondral allograft update since I know y'all are dyin' to hear.

Anyone that ever tells you that surgery is easy is lying.  After all the extensive research I did prior to the surgery, going into the procedure knowing that the full recovery would be about a year, well, I just didn't think that time frame could actually apply to me!

I remember several years back when I was single, walking the beach and thinking to myself, "My kids are healthy, I've got a great job, I make wonderful money, I'm a fit, ultra marathon runner, I love my circle of friends, I live at the beach.  I have got it ALL!  But God - What did you do with my relationship file"?

Last night Surfer Boy and I celebrated our fourth wedding anniversary.  Romance, fine wine, love.  We had dinner at a breathtaking restaurant overlooking the Pacific Ocean.  I wore a beautiful full length, turquoise, classy, spaghetti string strap dress with all my favorite sparkly jewelry.  Somehow the image of this runway model was tarnished by the addition of yep, you guessed it, my crutches!

But it did get me lots of attention from the wait staff.  "Can we bring you an extra chair to prop your leg?  Would you like some ice for your knee?  Do you need help getting up and down the (3) steps"?

Some days the knee feels pretty flexible, and other days, I wake up screaming and realize that I haven't been asleep!  Morphine, where are you?

The first eight weeks, all physical therapy has been done at home.  Tomorrow I meet with a new Physical Therapist.  I get to actually go to a PT gym and have a coach.  Exciting!

And I'm happy to report that God did find my relationship file.  Surfer Boy, I love you.  My amazing partner has stood by my side through this whole thing.  I am alive!  I will survive!

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Expose Yourself To Art

Surfer Boy and I decided to get some culture over the weekend.  No, we didn't eat yogurt.  No we didn't wear cultured pearls and no, we didn't go to college.

Our usual weekend adventures consist of some type of extreme workout.  But since this beautiful knee of mine is healing, opportunities for new experiences are afforded.

The town we live in, Laguna Beach, is a famous artist's community.  Do we ever partake in any of it?  No!  The most we've done is the annual Sawdust Festival where you can buy yourself a pair of earrings created by a local artist.  You know, the type of earrings that are pretty much guaranteed to make sure you never get asked out on a date again.  Enough with the "dream catcher" earrings already!

When the local newspaper was delivered last week, I noticed that the dance company, Complexions, was coming to town.  They're considered a Contemporary Ballet company.  Surfer Boy and Me at a Ballet?  I don't care how well Black Swan did at the box office, the ballet always seemed a bit ho-hum to me.

But this was something beyond my wildest expectations!  There were no tu-tu's in evidence.  Instead, I was treated to some amazingly athletic hot dudes dancing in their underwear!  And Kerry was treated to hard bodied babes dancing in skin tight black lace costumes.

The local community theatre is a small venue.  We were in the third row with not only a great view, but we were also able to hear every grunt, groan and heavy breathing the dancers made.

Check out the videos on their website and if you get the opportunity, go see them!

I highly recommend you expose yourself to art.  Just make sure you're not wearing a black trench coat with nothing underneath when you do so.  And if you do, your secrets safe with me!

Thursday, April 14, 2011

How To Attract An Awesome Babe (Or Not)

Kerry and I treated ourselves to dinner tonight at the Surf and Sand Resort. "Splashes" is the name of the restaurant.  Fine wines, designer foods featuring dishes with fancy swirls of God knows what surrounding your entree' to make it look like it's fresh off the Food Channel Network.

We sat next to the fireplace, in a dining room overlooking the setting sun.  Surfer Boy always the perfect gentleman with the dry cleaned clothing, pulling out the chair for his date. Me, with my designer outfit from the fifteen dollar store, spruced up with sparkling jewelry.  Somehow, I just can't fit in with the OC crowd.

In walks this gorgeous woman of indeterminate age depending on which angle her face was turned.  One way it looked to be 25.  If she looked straight at you, I'd guess 50.  On a good day.  Her black hair was cut in an attractive, funky, short style.  Her skin had been treated to only the finest skin care products and the latest in anti aging developments.  Botox, chemical peels, hylauranic acid treatments.  More than that though, she had an inner radiance.

Her date was a bit out of my view, but Kerry made the observation that caused me in a very rude fashion to rubber neck in order to get a better view.  He was the Fred to her Wilma.  And the main attraction to this man, especially as the lights dimmed and the sun set, was the blinking blue light of his blue tooth ear piece.  Blink.  Blink.  Blink.  The whole two hours we were enjoying a sumptuous dinner, off that ear piece went.  Was he expecting a call from another, more botoxed woman?  Perhaps a hot tip from his stock broker?  Maybe he's suing Mark Zuckerburg and waiting for a settlement update from his attorney.

Whatever the case, he had the Gorgeous Ms. OC wrapped around his little blue tooth technology.

Ladies, please raise your standards.  And if you can't, be willing to date Mr. Blue Tooth.  I'll bet he has one heck of a stock portfolio.  Me?  I'll be checking his text call log when I get home.  Just to be sure......

Sunday, April 10, 2011

Creepy Cat Ladies

Birthday number two for my daughter's cat "Baby" and her sister "Mimi"

Great gathering of wonderful friends, family, pictionary and lots of laughs.

MUCH needed comic relief after a less than stellar week:

•  Once the doc cleared me to go back to yoga, hit the bike and pool, I did all things in one day and ended up with a five ice pack night.  Gotta respect the healing process!

•  A very dear family member has been in the hospital for three weeks and they still haven't diagnosed her

•  My in home physical therapist, who I really don't need anymore, turned out to be more interested in giving me psychological therapy than physical therapy and announced that "Jesus sent him to me"  Hasta La Vista Baby to him

•  I caught Kerry's cold and my physical energy has been low.  Get me outta here so I can run!

Now that we've got that out of the way - who's up for a trip to Kauai?  The past is gone, the present is here with all the downs that make us appreciate the ups, and the future...........we're going to Kauai! My dear running buddy asked me to be the "best man/woman" at his wedding in Kauai.  Who am I to argue?  Now, what am I going to wear?

Sunday, April 3, 2011

Contentment Is Only A Thought Away

As I sat on my deck this gorgeous Sunday afternoon, feeling the warm sun on my body, I was transported to another place, time and state of mind.  No, Scottie didn't beam me up, but it felt like it!

I closed my eyes, listened to the surf, the laughter of kids playing, the seagulls and took a deep breath.

When I was an adolescent, my sister and my good friends (you know who you are) would take either the bus, Charlie's VW bug, or my first car that I purchased at the police auction for $200 cash and make our way to Miami Beach for the day.

While relaxing on Miami beach, here is a short list of the things that I DID NOT think about:

•  Money (I had never even heard of a mutual fund)

•  Skin cancer (I had my large bottle of "No Ad" suntan lotion in tow

•  Caloric intake or vitamin supplements

•  How I was going to make a car payment

•  When I was going to ice my knee next

•  When the next Lakers Game was

•  Gas prices (they were 24 cents/gallon)

•  What was for dinner that night (probably Kentucky Fried)

Here is a short list of the things that I DID think about:

•  Tan lines

•  Time to turn to get an even tan

•  Collecting shells

•  If we got to the beach early enough, could we make the first footprints in the sand?

•  The sunrise (again - if we got to the beach early enough)

•  The book I was reading (Probably "Be Here Now" by Ram Dass)

•  Yoga (yes, I practiced in the bedroom even back then)

•  My blow up raft for floating in the ocean, getting an even better tan

The first photo is from our deck in Laguna Beach, the second photo is my sister and I a couple years back in Miami Beach.

Today, I'm "all grown up" yeah right! with all the attendant thoughts that we think grownups need to be preoccupied with.

But in that moment today, closing my eyes, feeling the sun, hearing the surf, it made me realize, contentment - it really is only a thought away.

Saturday, April 2, 2011

Cheer Up, Things Could Be Worse...........

 So I Cheered Up, And Sure Enough, Things Got Worse!

If you're looking for funny platitudes, this is the blog.  My Dad (got rest his soul) was overflowing with wit, mirth and the wry sense of humour that he inherited from me.

Week five (but who's counting) of the osteochondral allograft.

If I hear one more person, as I'm out and about hobbling around on my crutches, tell me about how after  their knee surgery, they walked out of the doctor's office and participated in a triathlon (my neighbor actually told me this, I'm not making this up)  Or, that after her knee surgery, my other neighbor was back on her surfboard in six weeks............I'm going to strangle them.

Most folks have never even heard of an allograft, would not be thrilled with the idea of having a two inch portion of their bone sawed out of their knee (but happily replaced with living bone :)  being instructed to non weight bear for 6-8 weeks, and good progress is considered that you can walk normally in four months.

Last night, Kerry slept on the sofa because he's got a cold and didn't want to keep me up all night with his coughing.  I was up most of the night disturbing my bed mate, our black kitty Ruby, in pain, fetching ice packs.

The world turns very slowly these days.  One day, I'm encouraged, the next, I'm reduced to considering that alcoholism might not be such a bad idea after all.

My "tell it like it is" daughter, Angela, had no sympathy for me this morning.  When I told her the story she said "C'mon Mom, you know you'd be bragging to  everybody the same thing if you were back on your surfboard in six weeks."  Guilty as charged.

That does it.  I'm going to put my surfboard on my living room floor today and get on it.  That'll show 'em!